Two losers that no one cares about, and then the has-been chimes in...

I hate "American Idol" and I haven't watched Regis since he was with Kathie Lee and only then because I had mono and my liver would have exploded if I reached over for the remote to change the channel.

So it warms the cockles of my heart to no end to see that it's currently a major news story that "Reege" took the day off and none other than Season 2 Number 2 (and inevitably bound to be outed kicking and screaming) "AI" guy Clay Aiken took over hosting with insufferable "Tide to Go" spokeswhore Kelly Ripa. The two got into it when Aiken had the audacity to put his filthy closeted hand over Ripa's drivel-spewing mouth.



She's very indignant about this "lack of respect" thing. I'm indignant about the fact that this made the news. Nationally.

And this is where the has-been comes in. Rosie O'Donnell decides to chime in on her equally useless show "The View" that because Ripa "quipped" that she didn't know where Aiken's hand had been, that KELLY RIPA IS A HOMOPHOBE!!!!!!

I can't embed this particular video, but here's the URL to Rosie's tirade:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuSOMY2Wv6g

First of all, we don't know where anyone's hand has been. And for the most part we probably don't want to know. Maybe Kelly could have swiped some Tide to Go all over Clay's hand while bellowing an a-capella "(Hey, Hey, Hey) Kiss Him Goodbye".

But for Rosie O'Donnell of all people to get so mad about this irritates the living hell out of me. This is a woman who had a huge talk show for years and made millions upon millions off of it, based on the affections of a Middle America that thought her bizarre crush on "Tommy" was just so gosh darn adorable! "Tommy", as in "Master of All Things Psychiatric and Slayer of Xenu" Cruise. She quits her show, is deigned to be photographed in public with her girlfriend and their children and now all of a sudden she's Super Dyke, savior of oppressed homosexuals everywhere.

Is it ironic that I care about this only because I'm stunned that so many other people apparently give a shit? Or is this all manufactured drama that even the news barely cares about because Darfur is just too gosh-darn depressing and, like, soooooo four months ago?